I often get frustrated by the fact that while I'm trying to work and build a successful business my home life is a distraction, yet at home my work life is a distraction. It's the same old thing...at home with the kids you think of work and at work you think of the kids. Raising a family and working is definitely a balancing act and one that frankly I feel at times I suck at! I tend to get self-ish, at times I wish I had more time to devote to my business or more time to write but at the same time I want to cherish every moment with my children while they still want to hang out with me. What I have learned is when there is something you want you can have it if you're willing to work hard for it, you just have to make yourself a schedule and stick to it! I've carved out time every week for my business and for the most part I stick to it, I have certain times that are 'family only' times and now I'll be carving out time to write and I'm going to HAVE to stick to it. I don't need to waste time watching television every night and I should be getting up earlier in the morning than I do so I CAN do it. I just really need a cheerleader (my conscience wearing a cheer leading uniform) standing next to me telling me I can do it and then when I get really tired and frustrated I can punch the b*tch.
We all know we can achieve more it's just a matter of bucking up and doing it. I guess I've looked at the last six years and realized that when I was 27 my goal was to have written a best selling novel by the time I was 35. I'm going to be 34 in January and I haven't even started!!!! I don't want to be 50 and look back and think why didn't I write that novel...I could've published several by now, traveled the world, researched all the subjects I wanted to research for my books and still be young enough to continue doing so. Life is funny that way, we don't always realize what we want for ourselves until later in life and then we always wish we would've done it younger....well we are never too old to stop dreaming and we are never to old to stop achieving so I am challenging myself to write that book and to get it published by age 35 and if it doesn't become a best seller than at least I'll know I tried as hard as I could while keeping up with my family and day job....I'll just get less sleep but as mothers know, getting less sleep is worth it!! :) We may complain and we may be grumpy at times but we wouldn't change a thing. There are thousands of women who pray every night for God to bless them with a child and that child will no doubt rob them of countless hours of sleep but they will gladly give up that sleep for a precious baby.
Leap Fearlessly!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Please Stop Talking!
I will admit that I like to do my fair share of talking and sometimes I prefer someone just stop me before I say something really stupid but unfortunatley that rarely happens. Do you ever feel that certain people bring out the worst in you and you say things you normally wouldn't say just to 'show them' but then afterwards you end up feeling really bad and even caddy. I do have somewhat of a filter just not a very good one when it comes to certain people. One thing about being a parent is that now I sit and listen to my kids talk all day long and I barely get a word in edge wise!!
Sometimes my kids talk so much and ask so many questions that I just start making up answers. A friend told me once never to ignore your kids because then someday they'll just stop talking to you and she said it like it was a bad thing! LOL! I totally knew what she meant so instead of ignoring them I'd just start making stuff up. If they are paying attention they of course catch on to what I'm doing and think it's funny. But it is scary how sometimes they really aren't listening well to anything I say because one of my children will piece random conversations together then go tell people what he heard me and his dad talking about and it is NEVER right. In fact it mostly makes us look bad and that's always real fun when your kids start telling other people what they "think" they heard you talking about. My husband and I could say something about how we really like a friends new furniture and then change the subject about how we hate our old sofa and how we need to get it out of the house and the next thing we now our child is telling someone that we hate our friends house! How embarrasing!
The other day I thought it would be fun to go for a jog while my 4 year old rode his bike beside me. Seriously??? Was I smoking something that morning, I mean what was I thinking! He almost tripped me twice by swerving in front of me and he TALKED the entire time and he requires me to answer back with words. My usual "mmm" doesn't cut it with him. He'll say, "Mom, don't do that, say words." He also begins every sentence with "Mom, mom, mom" and he won't continue to talk until he knows for sure I am listening. Needless to say I was exhausted after my run and I think it was more mentally draining than physically.
But as a parent we sit and listen to our children talk no matter what. Then we give our children the smile, the familiar smile that we realize our parents gave us when we were talking their ear off. Sometimes I tune out and then the kids will say "What do you think, can I?" then I have to say, "I'm sorry what was that again." I should take the time to sit and listen more because in 14 years when they are all out of the house the dishes, laundry and cleaning will STILL be there! Then I'll be begging for one of them to come over and talk my ear off! :)
Sometimes my kids talk so much and ask so many questions that I just start making up answers. A friend told me once never to ignore your kids because then someday they'll just stop talking to you and she said it like it was a bad thing! LOL! I totally knew what she meant so instead of ignoring them I'd just start making stuff up. If they are paying attention they of course catch on to what I'm doing and think it's funny. But it is scary how sometimes they really aren't listening well to anything I say because one of my children will piece random conversations together then go tell people what he heard me and his dad talking about and it is NEVER right. In fact it mostly makes us look bad and that's always real fun when your kids start telling other people what they "think" they heard you talking about. My husband and I could say something about how we really like a friends new furniture and then change the subject about how we hate our old sofa and how we need to get it out of the house and the next thing we now our child is telling someone that we hate our friends house! How embarrasing!
The other day I thought it would be fun to go for a jog while my 4 year old rode his bike beside me. Seriously??? Was I smoking something that morning, I mean what was I thinking! He almost tripped me twice by swerving in front of me and he TALKED the entire time and he requires me to answer back with words. My usual "mmm" doesn't cut it with him. He'll say, "Mom, don't do that, say words." He also begins every sentence with "Mom, mom, mom" and he won't continue to talk until he knows for sure I am listening. Needless to say I was exhausted after my run and I think it was more mentally draining than physically.
But as a parent we sit and listen to our children talk no matter what. Then we give our children the smile, the familiar smile that we realize our parents gave us when we were talking their ear off. Sometimes I tune out and then the kids will say "What do you think, can I?" then I have to say, "I'm sorry what was that again." I should take the time to sit and listen more because in 14 years when they are all out of the house the dishes, laundry and cleaning will STILL be there! Then I'll be begging for one of them to come over and talk my ear off! :)
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
I'm bringing blogging back!
I'm back! I was on hiatus for the past few months due to a move. My family moved from Iowa to Minnesota and moving a family and a business took a great deal of time and effort. I really missed blogging but needed sleep more! The kids have adjusted well to their new school which is a blessing! I think I was more nervous than they were. I moved a few times as a kid and that really helped me to know that kids are resilient and that they will be fine, and they were fine. They've made friends already and are looking forward to field trips and lunch. At their new school they get three different choices for their main course so that was pretty exiting for them. Oh to be a kid again and have the biggest decision of the day be what to eat for lunch!
My four year old also loves his new preschool. Unfortunately its only three short afternoons versus the four long afternoons he was used to. One day he got up really excited for school and said, "Mom I go to school today right?" and I said, "No you get to stay home with me" and he said, "Well that's a bummer!" Also to be a kid again and to be that honest. The most exciting thing for him though has been the fact that he's learned to ride his bike. In fact the entire neighborhood knows he just learned to ride a bike because they often saw or heard him run into trees or the ditches. Learning to brake was the last thing he learned. He never got hurt but he'd lay there and say, "Help, somebody help me." He's the third child so mostly we'd just look at him and think...he's okay, or we'd tell him to get up. Funny how by the third kid we all act a little differently.
"Did you know your child is climbing up the side of the house?" and you reply, "Oh he'll be fine." or "Um your kid just rode his bike into a tree." and you reply, "Oh he'll get back up. I'm sure the force knocked him out for only a second." Or my favorite. "Do you know were your kid is?" and I reply, "Shoot, I haven't seen him around for awhile now. I suppose I should probably go find him." I'm teasing of course, sort of!
Life is an adventure and to sort of quote Steve Martin from the movie The Big Year..."Most people spend their entire lives on the beaten path only to realize they didn't do all the things they wanted to in life."
On a side note the holidays are around the corner so if you live in the Panora/GC area and are looking for some sweet treats, from scratch by niki just added some beautiful Christmas platters to the website. It all looks so tasty, I'm not positive but I may have even seen a Schweddy ball or two! I'm teasing...she does make cake balls though (not in the platter) and I have yet to see one that's misshapen. :) Check out http://www.fromscratchbyniki.com/.
My four year old also loves his new preschool. Unfortunately its only three short afternoons versus the four long afternoons he was used to. One day he got up really excited for school and said, "Mom I go to school today right?" and I said, "No you get to stay home with me" and he said, "Well that's a bummer!" Also to be a kid again and to be that honest. The most exciting thing for him though has been the fact that he's learned to ride his bike. In fact the entire neighborhood knows he just learned to ride a bike because they often saw or heard him run into trees or the ditches. Learning to brake was the last thing he learned. He never got hurt but he'd lay there and say, "Help, somebody help me." He's the third child so mostly we'd just look at him and think...he's okay, or we'd tell him to get up. Funny how by the third kid we all act a little differently.
"Did you know your child is climbing up the side of the house?" and you reply, "Oh he'll be fine." or "Um your kid just rode his bike into a tree." and you reply, "Oh he'll get back up. I'm sure the force knocked him out for only a second." Or my favorite. "Do you know were your kid is?" and I reply, "Shoot, I haven't seen him around for awhile now. I suppose I should probably go find him." I'm teasing of course, sort of!
We should all be more like kids...they get knocked down and they always get right back up. They take new challenges head on. They meet new people and try new things and they enjoy the good things in life like PB & J and chocolate milk and eating ice cream in the sun as it melts down their hands, walking barefoot in the sand and collecting shells at the beach.
On a side note the holidays are around the corner so if you live in the Panora/GC area and are looking for some sweet treats, from scratch by niki just added some beautiful Christmas platters to the website. It all looks so tasty, I'm not positive but I may have even seen a Schweddy ball or two! I'm teasing...she does make cake balls though (not in the platter) and I have yet to see one that's misshapen. :) Check out http://www.fromscratchbyniki.com/.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The Secret Life of a 4 year old Boy: Part II
As soon as I picked my little man up from his daycare/preschool that we just call 'school' the other day the first thing he said after he buckled himself into the car was, "So where do I have to got to school to become a cop?" I told him the police academy. He said, "Hmm, okay so now where do I buy a tazer?" My eleven year old started laughing. She had the same thought I did....were these normal questions a four year old asks? At the age of four he already has his education figured out and he knows that the police station he works for will in fact line up the purchase of a tazer, gun, handcuffs and badge for him. He really wants to be an undercover cop because then he doesn't have to wear a uniform. He just wants to be able to wear plain t-shirts!
He made another grand discover when he decided to change his Hunter Dan doll's clothes. He took all the hunting clothes off and said, "Why doesn't this doll have a wiener?" Sometimes I forget he's four and I said, "Well because they don't make dolls anatomically correct." Which of course I got a blank stare so my husband says, "They don't put wieners on dolls."
I did the same thing with my nine year old. He got a check for his birthday and he needed to sign the back of it so we could cash it. I just handed him the check and asked him to sign the back of it. He did in fact sign the back of it right in the very middle under the line that says 'don't write below this line'. I had to laugh because what made me think he knew where to sign a check was beyond me! I guess what is worse treating children like adults or treating adults like children?? I know when I was a new mom I think I did things like accidentally cut up my husbands meat for him or taste his food to make sure it wasn't too hot! Sometimes being a mom and having to wear lots of hats can get confusing. I guess that is also what makes it fun!
He made another grand discover when he decided to change his Hunter Dan doll's clothes. He took all the hunting clothes off and said, "Why doesn't this doll have a wiener?" Sometimes I forget he's four and I said, "Well because they don't make dolls anatomically correct." Which of course I got a blank stare so my husband says, "They don't put wieners on dolls."
I did the same thing with my nine year old. He got a check for his birthday and he needed to sign the back of it so we could cash it. I just handed him the check and asked him to sign the back of it. He did in fact sign the back of it right in the very middle under the line that says 'don't write below this line'. I had to laugh because what made me think he knew where to sign a check was beyond me! I guess what is worse treating children like adults or treating adults like children?? I know when I was a new mom I think I did things like accidentally cut up my husbands meat for him or taste his food to make sure it wasn't too hot! Sometimes being a mom and having to wear lots of hats can get confusing. I guess that is also what makes it fun!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
The Secret Life of a Four Year Old Boy
I love action packed spy movies! If it involves mystery, the FBI, CIA, rogue agents and several chase scenes then I'm going to watch it. I've seen plenty to know that there is always a scene where the main character holes up in a motel somewhere and neatly organizes their artillery on the bed.
So yesterday I walked into my 4-year-old's room and there on his bed he had neatly displayed a line of 6 toy guns, 6 used cellphones, 3 police badges, a toy samaria sword, a pair of sunglasses, a pair of handcuffs, a toy cordless drill, a reusable grocery bag (that's my boy) and a camoflauged teddy bear. It was so cute I really should've taken a picture but this mom's not that smart!! I could just picture him in his room nealty arranging all of the supplies he feels are necessary to be an undercover cop. That IS what he want's to be when he grows up. But he doesn't want to be just ANY undercover cop, he wants to be a NFL football playing undercover cop!!!
He has his 'cop shirts' that he wears and he hides behind furniture and acts like he is following bad guys. Oh to be a kid again and use your imagination to do fun stuff. That's the great thing about being a parent though I guess. I can sneak around the house with a toy gun and a police badge and act like I'm an undercover agent while playing with my son and no one will think that's weird. But if I was pretending to be an undercover agent home alone while my kids were at school some people might find that strange!
On a side note I'm struggling with the same child to get him to wipe his own butt. He is 4 and I have to force him to do it himself. Last night he was trying to show me what a struggle it is for him to wipe and his hand slipped off the toilet paper into the poop and all over his butt and he said, "Nice, now my poops going to smell like butt!" Too funny.
So yesterday I walked into my 4-year-old's room and there on his bed he had neatly displayed a line of 6 toy guns, 6 used cellphones, 3 police badges, a toy samaria sword, a pair of sunglasses, a pair of handcuffs, a toy cordless drill, a reusable grocery bag (that's my boy) and a camoflauged teddy bear. It was so cute I really should've taken a picture but this mom's not that smart!! I could just picture him in his room nealty arranging all of the supplies he feels are necessary to be an undercover cop. That IS what he want's to be when he grows up. But he doesn't want to be just ANY undercover cop, he wants to be a NFL football playing undercover cop!!!
He has his 'cop shirts' that he wears and he hides behind furniture and acts like he is following bad guys. Oh to be a kid again and use your imagination to do fun stuff. That's the great thing about being a parent though I guess. I can sneak around the house with a toy gun and a police badge and act like I'm an undercover agent while playing with my son and no one will think that's weird. But if I was pretending to be an undercover agent home alone while my kids were at school some people might find that strange!
On a side note I'm struggling with the same child to get him to wipe his own butt. He is 4 and I have to force him to do it himself. Last night he was trying to show me what a struggle it is for him to wipe and his hand slipped off the toilet paper into the poop and all over his butt and he said, "Nice, now my poops going to smell like butt!" Too funny.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Life's Not Fair
I recently read an article in a magazine about a mother who believes that children who don't try shouldn't get the same benefits as those who do. I happen to agree with her. I am noticing more and more parents who want equal treatment of children who are not equally putting forth the effort. I've even told a coach before that if my child is not trying don't play them. They aren't learning anything from putting forth no effort yet getting the same playing time as the children who are working their butts off. When I was in sports if you half-assed it at practice or didn't do your job in a game you were benched. Our coach didn't continue to allow you to play because he or she felt that all kids deserved equal playing time. You don't go to a job and get a promotion because you showed up late to work every day, didn't practice good hygiene and sat on Face book all day just because your boss felt that all his employees deserved equal promotions. That's not the real world and we are supposed to be grooming our children for the great stuff in life as well as the disappointments.
I see parents upset at games because their kids, who have terrible attitudes and don't have respect for the other players or the coaches, benched. Again, I feel I'm entitled to my opinion because I am a parent of children who have not tried hard and who have had terrible attitudes and I've asked for them to be benched. Other parents think I'm too harsh. Too harsh? I'm doing the best thing I can as a parent and teach them that if you truly want something in life then you have to work for it. If you don't want to be out for a sport you have to finish because I don't believe in quitting something you've started, unless of course you've become a person who is now bringing the whole team down, but then you don't go out the next year. I can see the kids that hate sports but their parents force them to go out. Team sports are great for children to learn about respect, team work, hard work and dedication and I think every child should try something if they can, but if it's truly not something they enjoy or want to work at then don't be upset when they don't get to play. Talent is great but a person who has little talent but works hard can far exceed a person with a ton of talent who puts forth little effort.
We aren't just raising children we are raising adults so think about what kind of adult you want your child to be someday. I for one would like my children to be functioning members of society, I'd like for them to work hard to achieve their dreams but realize that in life there are setbacks. I want them to understand that if they fail it's okay because they can try and try again.
Our children need to understand that we will love them no matter what but we do need to challenge them to excel. In life we need to be able to handle criticism and handle setbacks and that's what we need to teach our children. People who work hard to achieve, even if they fail at first, will be rewarded more than those who don't. Practicing self-discipline, self-reliance and self-control will get them farther in life than being taught that unequal effort warrants equal reward. The real world is full of competition and only the hungry survive.
"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will." Vincent T. Lombardi
I see parents upset at games because their kids, who have terrible attitudes and don't have respect for the other players or the coaches, benched. Again, I feel I'm entitled to my opinion because I am a parent of children who have not tried hard and who have had terrible attitudes and I've asked for them to be benched. Other parents think I'm too harsh. Too harsh? I'm doing the best thing I can as a parent and teach them that if you truly want something in life then you have to work for it. If you don't want to be out for a sport you have to finish because I don't believe in quitting something you've started, unless of course you've become a person who is now bringing the whole team down, but then you don't go out the next year. I can see the kids that hate sports but their parents force them to go out. Team sports are great for children to learn about respect, team work, hard work and dedication and I think every child should try something if they can, but if it's truly not something they enjoy or want to work at then don't be upset when they don't get to play. Talent is great but a person who has little talent but works hard can far exceed a person with a ton of talent who puts forth little effort.
We aren't just raising children we are raising adults so think about what kind of adult you want your child to be someday. I for one would like my children to be functioning members of society, I'd like for them to work hard to achieve their dreams but realize that in life there are setbacks. I want them to understand that if they fail it's okay because they can try and try again.
Our children need to understand that we will love them no matter what but we do need to challenge them to excel. In life we need to be able to handle criticism and handle setbacks and that's what we need to teach our children. People who work hard to achieve, even if they fail at first, will be rewarded more than those who don't. Practicing self-discipline, self-reliance and self-control will get them farther in life than being taught that unequal effort warrants equal reward. The real world is full of competition and only the hungry survive.
"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will." Vincent T. Lombardi
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Summer Vacation
Ahh summer vacation time, it's my favorite. I will admit now that when my kids were younger vacations were not very fun for me. As a mom of toddlers it's like you are dealing with the same old crap just in a different place. It's not fun or relaxing to be away from home for a long period of time, the kids' schedules get out of whack and you end up stuck in doors with fussy kids while everyone else is having fun. Now that my children are older, 11, 9 and 4, I really enjoy our family vacations. We have so much fun that it's difficult to come back home.
I grew up going to the same cabin on the water one week each summer and I loved it. My husband grew up staying in cabins near water in the summer as well and we both wanted that for our children. We were fortunate enough to be able to go to my in-laws resort for three summers and my family's cabin on the water for several summers. Now that both the resort and the cabin are no longer in the family my husband and I decided we needed to find a place that we could take our kids for many summers to come and boy did we find a great place! We stay in a cabin on the water and the kids love to swim, fish, boat and play on the playground with other kids that stay at the same resort. We go for evening boat rides, roast marshmallows over the campfire and just have fun. The resort we stay in is about a 10 minute drive from a large town that offers many activities so we take in a ball game, race go-karts, play minigolf and check out some of the neat stores. One of my favorite things to do is to go out on our dock in the early morning when my husband and son go fishing and just sit out there in the cool breeze and read. It's my quiet time and I LOVE it!!
Family vacations don't have to be long or expensive but in my opinion they are important. Any sort of 'vacation' you take with your kids will be memorable. Family vacations don't always go as planned but usually those are the ones that produce the memories to provide laughs for years to come.
I grew up going to the same cabin on the water one week each summer and I loved it. My husband grew up staying in cabins near water in the summer as well and we both wanted that for our children. We were fortunate enough to be able to go to my in-laws resort for three summers and my family's cabin on the water for several summers. Now that both the resort and the cabin are no longer in the family my husband and I decided we needed to find a place that we could take our kids for many summers to come and boy did we find a great place! We stay in a cabin on the water and the kids love to swim, fish, boat and play on the playground with other kids that stay at the same resort. We go for evening boat rides, roast marshmallows over the campfire and just have fun. The resort we stay in is about a 10 minute drive from a large town that offers many activities so we take in a ball game, race go-karts, play minigolf and check out some of the neat stores. One of my favorite things to do is to go out on our dock in the early morning when my husband and son go fishing and just sit out there in the cool breeze and read. It's my quiet time and I LOVE it!!
Family vacations don't have to be long or expensive but in my opinion they are important. Any sort of 'vacation' you take with your kids will be memorable. Family vacations don't always go as planned but usually those are the ones that produce the memories to provide laughs for years to come.
"It isn't how much time you spend somewhere that makes it memorable: it's how you spend the time."
Author: David Brenner
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